Guest Blog post: Bree (old woman) Hadwen

Quick introduction, I have asked Bree to do a guest post because my blog is so famous this is something that is required to keep my fans interested. It is a retrospective account of our ridiculous Amsterdam adventure.

Why Hello,

Its Bree here – I may have been formerly introduced as ‘42-year-old best friend of 22 years’ however I can’t be sure of this because Kaitlyn is very secretive when it comes to sharing this ever so fascinating blog of hers.

Again, I am not sure of everything that has been shared on this blog but it’s safe to say Kaitlyn, aka ‘Number 1 Bae’ has to be one of my all-time favourite people and ultimate travel buddy. I say this not only because of her brute strength, ability to drink beer and back up from big nights (perhaps it could be a connection developed when I apparently ‘caught her from the womb’) – but plain and simple, it’s always a good time/ walking disaster whenever we get together.

Introductions now aside, in one of our many rambling conversations it was suggested that I guest star in this famous blog (that I’ve never actually had the privilege of reading) and recount my version of ‘The Adventures of Bree and Kaitlyn: Amsterdam edition’. What you should know is, I feel sorry for any poor soul that encounters the ‘Travelling Train wreck’ that is Bree and Kaitlyn.

Our Amsterdam plan came into effect the moment I managed to score 5 consecutive days off work. While being considerably older yet still living the pleb life, we found ourselves constrained by time and finances – naturally we came to the mutual decision that we could only spend money on the essentials. Late in the evening and creeping from the shadows, these two filthy looking backpackers, completely out of place rolled in to what would be described as a very nice hotel.

Clearly out of our element and in need of some liquid courage we went down to the bar to celebrate being reunited once again. We discussed how excited we were to be in Amsterdam over and over again and even the potential of taking a small ‘bum puff’ if the opportunity ever did arise in this new and exciting place. We proceeded to order essential cocktails and even managed to befriend our favourite bartender dubbed as, ‘Gooten Hooten’ or ‘Wooten’.

Unable to convince him to make us the necessary frozen strawberry Daiquiris and with a day of adventures planned ahead our first night ended as the bar closed. It was a cold and rainy day in Amsterdam so like any ‘sound of mind’ individual we embarked on our 25km walk towards the beach. After a few km’s into our journey – we discovered that sustenance was an essential.

We stumbled across a ‘Coffee Shop’, or so we thought. Craving Amsterdam’s finest cappuccino, the two biggest pansies in the world found it odd that we were being asked for ID to enter this supposed ‘coffee shop’. As the bouncer brought us back down to earth, “it’s a weed café darling” we finally realised how dumb we actually looked and sprinted away with embarrassment.

So our first and only opportunity of a bum puff in Amsterdam did not actually eventuate. Continuing our treacherous journey, we found what Kaitlyn deemed as ‘an Oasis’. One little pit-stop and the realisation that we have no idea how to communicate with anything other than pointing, we shared an omelette between us and continued our journey. Fast forward about 4 hours and add in some wind and rain, these two drowned rats had managed to find the beach!

With no sun in sight the only thing to do was head to the bar for essential sangria and commence operation Amsterdam pub crawl. To save too much rambling we encountered some hilarious people, a grandma dropping it like it was hot, enjoyed about 70 million more drinks and took over the stereo at the bar. We shared some classic Aussie songs with our new found friends and decided to start our walk back.

Drink bottles full of vodka donated for the journey home and the thought of our favourite bartender at the hotel waiting, with Kaitlyn as my protection we accepted a lift home from some more new found 18-year-old friends and made it back for the best frozen strawberry daiquiris we’ve every tried. The two revolting drowned rats parked up at the ‘classy hotel bar’ and decided to befriend everyone there.

Those poor people.

The next day looking and feeling like death we managed to hit the city and tick off the main sights, relax by the canals and soak up what an incredible place we were in. Unfortunately, upon discovery that I needed to get back to Dubai – the only way to do this was through Hamburg. We hired a car and with Kailtlyn as my chauffer and Gooten Hooten along for the ride, the 3 of us legged it along the Autobahn and headed for Germany. Despite it being such a whirlwind of a trip – what a great time we had, there will definitely be an Amsterdam 2.0.

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